when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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