Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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