its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
