Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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