Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
