I feel great
I just peed on a car
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
