His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
