I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
