Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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