I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
