he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize