You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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