I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
