Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The Olympian is in my bed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
