bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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