some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
