it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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