she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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