Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
pray to the hookup gods
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
