I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
