She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
