i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
