i barfeds in our rink
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
