I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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