He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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