so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
