Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
