I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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