Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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