I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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