no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're too hungover to prance.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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