she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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