he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
