I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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