My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
