i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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