Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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