Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
