I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
