just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
