There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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