I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
