new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
