Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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