well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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