you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
