why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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