you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize