Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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