yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
