You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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