Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
