he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
