just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
