I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
