so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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