Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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